Back in April when I left my full-time job I had all these big plans of what I was going to do with my free time. I was going to start my newsletter (hi!) and start working out again (lol) and organize our house (remember how we moved with two 2-week old babies and a toddler in the middle of the night during a pandemic?) and get to know more of Maine since this is our ‘fornow’ (I can’t say forever, ever) home, and do more of the things I love and make me me.
Yeah. So… About all that.
At one point it became too much and it was actually more stressful than enjoyable. I felt like I needed to do something all the time, whatever that was. Write. Freelance. Interview for jobs. Make money. Attend PR events. Do all the things I couldn’t do with my kids while I had a full-time job. Oh, and also enjoy it 100% of the time.
It all ended up giving me more anxiety than enjoyment and something had to give.
So I gave up everything but my kids.
After I accepted a job offer from Insider (in case you missed my announcement, I’m starting next week as Parenting + Health editor and could not be more thrilled), I realized I needed to chill the fuck out or I was going to burn out prior to starting an exciting full-time gig. All this hustling was not going to get me into the 40 under 40 list (lol again) and I had been really frustrated at the fact that I only got 10 weeks with the twins (during a pandemic!) and had to dive back to work and felt like I had missed out on a lot. I think if we were to summarize my 2020 in two words it’d be: missing out. So, this was my time. My time to be with my kids with nothing else to worry about.
I quickly realized that nothing is well… not realistic. I still had piles of laundry every.single.day to take care of. I had to pick up toys and pay bills and make sure we had diapers and deal with paperwork and just be an adult (a thing I’m not really good at, believe it or not). So to say I haven’t been doing anything for the past month-ish is unfair to myself, but I haven’t been doing a lot of what I thought I was going to have time or energy to do. And that’s absolutely fine.
In fact, more than fine. It was exactly what I needed to do. I needed to be present with my kids. I needed to take them on adventures, to make memories, to be there for their first words and their first ice cream, and just enjoy them for a hot second. Because if not now, then when? When do I get them to be this little and this obsessed with me again in their lives? When will I get to put my phone down in a different room and walk away from it knowing that I am not missing out on anything? When else but now?
So if you were wondering where I’ve been this entire time, that’s the long answer.
But now my sabbatical is coming to an end and I’ll be around more (sorry if I owe you a reply, I’ve been really bad with even my closest friends) and I’m so thrilled for my next chapter in this wild life of mine. I hate giving advice because 1) who am I to tell anyone what to do and 2) everyone’s life and experiences are so different, but if you can, at any point of your life, slow down and be present with your kids. Whatever age they are, for however long you can do it, even if you’re still working full-time or being a stay-at-home mom. I would’ve rolled my eyes at anyone telling me this on January 2021, so trust me, I know how I sound. But these past three months have shifted my core in a way it’s hard to even verbalize.
Anyway, hi, it’s been a minute, but now you know why.